Here we Go!

        Have you ever felt complete and total confirmation from God? I used to be quite the skeptic, but circumstances in the past 7-10 years of my life have erased any and all doubt that we have a mighty God, who longs to bless and interact with us so much....that he often sends his spirit to make sure we know when he's talking.

Some of you know that Ben and I have been praying recently about the decision to adopt a baby girl from India. I first began feeling the nudges of that call 6 years ago after watching a documentary about the red light district in Calcutta. Females born there are destined to be sold into the sex trade (some as young as 5yrs), and are left to die of either drug addiction or one of the many diseases the slavery they are forced into brings upon them. Child prostitution is neither illegal nor prohibited there, and my heart breaks for them.

     Then, life got in the way....or more clearly to me now....the enemy got in the way.On January 1st 2003 2 armed gunmen came into our home and held us hostage in a violent home invasion for over 3 hours. They were apprehended, but what followed were years of trials and testifying and therapy. I put the desire to adopt on the back burner because quite frankly.....I needed to desperately tend to the three very wounded children I already had in my home. It seemed as though every time things would begin to return to normal, another tragedy or hardship or medical emergency would strike and leave us licking our wounds and numbly picking up the pieces.

    We had several friends and absolutely adored family members successfully navigate the adoption process, but as we sat back and watched we always were left with the feeling that it just wasn't meant to be. I had no idea why, but we just began to accept it. I had been forced to have an emergency hysterectomy after the birth of our youngest son Carter.This became one of the hardest faith struggles I have ever had.Ben and I used to giggle while engaged about just how many children he was going to let this KY girl from a family of five bring into our home. I would have had as many children as God chose to bless me with....why on earth would he have rendered me barren at 26 years old!But, who was I to question...I began to feel God just didn't feel like I was mother material.

            Then a series of events began to take place that slowly prepared us for where we are today. (Mind you, I say that to you knowing that just yesterday I was again doubting if God considered me worthy enough to entrust with another child lol).God began to show me that he most assuredly thought I was mother material, he just meant for me to grow my family in a different way. Ben and I watched as two of his cousins navigated two of the most unbelievable international adoptions.  Sweet Josie Love Mayernick and Mia Harvey made it home from Uganda and India to celebrate thanksgiving, and that ice cap the enemy had placed over our hearts began to melt like butter.

             By watching their witness and example, we began to realize that when God calls,you go! We have watched the sweet reward he has blessed them with after remaining faithful when not very many people would. We were inspired and humbled.Gradually God began bringing into our lives Godly couples who were following Gods command to care for the orphaned, who amazingly, were just as real and stressed and flawed and needing of his Grace than we were. They weren't independantly wealthy,they weren't perfect parents, and they all affirmed over and over with their testimonys that they would have never made it had it not been for the support and love of Christ and his people.

         But, as most of you know, watching and crying with someone else....isnt the same as stepping out there for yourself. There always seemed to be a reason to not even begin to think about bringing another child into our home. In Novemeber ...slam!Ben , who is in the middle of his second semester of Law School was told he would no longer have a job after April 30th. December....slam!I was forced to have 37 years of scoliosis corrected in my spine before it fused bent and left me disabled. January....slam!Our beautiful daughter and oldest son began to struggle like they never had before with the pain left behind from the home invasion. We were being beaten up big time, and we clung to Jesus with everything we had. We fought and cried and were angry and saddened.We blamed other people and God and anything to keep from realizing that life is messy, and God sometimes lets it get REALLY messy when we start letting our our own voices drown out his still and quiet call to follow his plan. Ben found a job and we were blessed financially again. The kids began to heal as did my back. Things were good, we weren't clinging so tightly anymore.

            As March began I found myself drawn to the bloggs of the friends and family who had adopted their precious babies and were basking in the Joy of the Lord with them.The things of the past began to fade away. Ben and i realized that what this family needed, was to complete the circle that God had intended from the beginning. That loss of a job was to allow him to have a new job AND severance pay so that we could become debt free and get on about the business of living for the sake of his call.

           Our children are extactic. The boys have agreed to share a room(if you know my boys that in itself is a miracle straight from heaven)! Our Shelby will finally have the little sister or sisters(we have decided not to seperate siblings) she has asked for all of her life. Mostly, we have a peace that passes all understanding about this decision. Our dreams of a a big house on acres of land in a good school district just don't trump the ever affirming voice of a God that we know wants to bless us with a child that more than likely has not even been born into a brothel yet.

          Today at church the praise team began to sing "Mighty to save" I knew without a doubt that this is where the Lord is leading this family. I felt a stir in a womb that isnt even physically there.I have never had such a sweet mothers day present as to stand next to my soulmate and three precious children and sing

"Savior,he can move mountains.My God is mighty to save, he is mighty to save.Forever,auther of salvation,he has conquered the grave". He does and he will move mountains.

         Amazingly, I wasnt thinking of the baby girl he has waiting for me to "save".I was thinking of my family, who after being battered and broken and wounded, is being saved from believing that God just really didnt have anything else planned for us to go through. He is saving us from the danger of living a life without passion or purpose.

       We covet all of your prayers as we start out on this journey together. I specifically ask that you pray that the enemy will not capitalize on his life long ability to make me think Im just not capable of much of anything.I covet your scriptures, your thoughts, your encouragement, and your love. This will take a long time and we are prepared for that. India is not an easy country to adopt from, but thank goodness God has placed two amazing people in our lives who did it less than a year ago.

We love You,

Ben,Kasey,Shelby,Landy,and Carter Nelson

Psalm 82:3-4

3 Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed.
4 Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.